So, what is the alternative to being obedient to what the Holy Spirit is calling me to do? And how do you even really know if you’re being called? Great questions, Matt. LOL.

For me, I know where I was before I felt called to tell my story. As much as I try to hide it, and quite successfully most times, it’s often a very dark place where much of the time I feel as though I am falling into a deep, dark black hole; my fingernails bleeding from digging into the surrounding dirt trying to stop my slide. I don’t like being in that place.

But now? Now, I am experiencing a joy that I don’t every recall experiencing before in my life. Am I manic? LOL. Maybe, but though I struggle with depression most of the time, the simple duration of this sense of joy is unprecedented. For those that have done the math, that’s about 6 weeks. 6 weeks of unprecedented joy.

I hope most of you are thinking 6 weeks isn’t very long. But by joy I don’t mean that life isn’t without it’s ups and downs. In fact, in some ways the last 6 weeks have been very difficult indeed; but in spite of that I am experiencing joy. Not just joy, but a new found hope.

The second question, ‘how do you even know if the Holy Spirit is calling you to do anything?’ For me it’s following my ‘heart’, that inner voice that says, ‘this is the next best thing to do’, following my conscience. It might even be talking about it with people you trust. It’s prayer and contemplation asking further questions like, ‘is this really what you want me to do?’, ‘am I going to help people or harm them by my actions?’, ‘seriously, You want me to do what?’ LOL.

So, for me, being obedient to what I feel like the Holy Spirit is calling me to do has given me joy and hope and I don’t want to lose that.

Pope Francis, I appeal you to meet the needs of survivors of clergy sexual abuse by making reparations commensurate with the damage, emotional or otherwise, caused to survivors. I have ideas on how to do this. If you can’t do this, then I respectfully ask, on behalf of the Church, you to stop receiving communion until such time that the Church does. Because until the Church does, it will not be in communion with the saints. Sincere contrition is meaningless without reparations in kind. Demonstrate to the world that the Catholic Church is catholic; that is, the Church Jesus established with Peter as the rock, the first pope; that the Church practices what it preaches.

Thanks for reading.

Wishing you much love and peace,


“Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” ― Mother Teresa

Consider sharing this blog with others. Victim/survivors of abuses, more often than not, carry this burden silently alone, not knowing how to deal with it or where to turn, but need hope. Loved ones and caregivers also need support. We never know who is or wants to reach out for help. This blog might be of help to caregivers and loved ones of abuse. Silence is deadly and if together we are able to help or save just one life, isn’t that worth it?

Not signed up? Please do. Look for the “Follow” link and complete the information requested. 

Sig – Pope – b4 signature

ALL CONTENTS COPYRIGHTED 2019-2021 © by H. Matthew Casey, @Journey from Abused to Joy,, All rights reserved. No part of any entry/blog may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the name of the author – H. Matthew Casey, number1advocate, @Journey from Abused to Joy – and a clear link back to this blog:


An excerpt from the blog The Effects of Sexual Abuse Never Go Away” – “ A child is likely to be left with strong feelings of anger, fear, shame, hurt and disappointment”. That’s some of the reasons why 45 years later I’ve never told my story. Yes, it’s hidden and yes it affects me to … Continue reading Anonymous


Thank you for posting…Sharing intimate details is scary. Thank you for being so brave and for reaching out to others through this blog. I know much of your heart in this blog. Your openness and honesty is quiet beautiful. Thank you for sharing.


‘You make the reality of what you and other victims have suffered so very clear, but we all need to know that it happened. People want to help, we want to speak up and reassure, but sometimes, we just don’t know how. We are learning, hopefully. God bless you and your journey to complete peace.’


3 thoughts on “Alternative

  1. It may get dark at times thru this journey of recovery but all you need to do is ask God to Shine His lite upon you so you may reflect His lite upon others struggling in the dark!! The whole truth is true recovery 🏳️📖📝✝️💡🙏🐛🦋⚓️💐💫⚖️⏳🛠🔧💎⛓🎉‼️🆓🆕 change is possible and required John 15:7 & 16:7

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve made a change, I believe, so that anyone can leave comments. Feel free to leave words of encouragement or whatever. Negative comments are inevitable, and I pray I will be able to deal with them with grace, but comment, comment, comment. LOL!

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s