So, what is the alternative to being obedient to what the Holy Spirit is calling me to do? And how do you even really know if you’re being called? Great questions, Matt. LOL.
For me, I know where I was before I felt called to tell my story. As much as I try to hide it, and quite successfully most times, it’s often a very dark place where much of the time I feel as though I am falling into a deep, dark black hole; my fingernails bleeding from digging into the surrounding dirt trying to stop my slide. I don’t like being in that place.
But now? Now, I am experiencing a joy that I don’t every recall experiencing before in my life. Am I manic? LOL. Maybe, but though I struggle with depression most of the time, the simple duration of this sense of joy is unprecedented. For those that have done the math, that’s about 6 weeks. 6 weeks of unprecedented joy.
I hope most of you are thinking 6 weeks isn’t very long. But by joy I don’t mean that life isn’t without it’s ups and downs. In fact, in some ways the last 6 weeks have been very difficult indeed; but in spite of that I am experiencing joy. Not just joy, but a new found hope.
The second question, ‘how do you even know if the Holy Spirit is calling you to do anything?’ For me it’s following my ‘heart’, that inner voice that says, ‘this is the next best thing to do’, following my conscience. It might even be talking about it with people you trust. It’s prayer and contemplation asking further questions like, ‘is this really what you want me to do?’, ‘am I going to help people or harm them by my actions?’, ‘seriously, You want me to do what?’ LOL.
So, for me, being obedient to what I feel like the Holy Spirit is calling me to do has given me joy and hope and I don’t want to lose that.
Pope Francis, I appeal you to meet the needs of survivors of clergy sexual abuse by making reparations commensurate with the damage, emotional or otherwise, caused to survivors. I have ideas on how to do this. If you can’t do this, then I respectfully ask, on behalf of the Church, you to stop receiving communion until such time that the Church does. Because until the Church does, it will not be in communion with the saints. Sincere contrition is meaningless without reparations in kind. Demonstrate to the world that the Catholic Church is catholic; that is, the Church Jesus established with Peter as the rock, the first pope; that the Church practices what it preaches.
Thanks for reading.
Wishing you much love and peace,
“Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” ― Mother Teresa
Consider sharing this blog with others. Victim/survivors of abuses, more often than not, carry this burden silently alone, not knowing how to deal with it or where to turn, but need hope. Loved ones and caregivers also need support. We never know who is or wants to reach out for help. This blog might be of help to caregivers and loved ones of abuse. Silence is deadly and if together we are able to help or save just one life, isn’t that worth it?
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It has been great to meet and talk with you Matt… I look forward to reading long or short versions of any topic, story, thoughts or emotions you touch on.. I hope they help other survivors in their healing journey.. I know talking about it helps me.. be well !
The other day I shared a story on FB about losing two teeth in an accident, and someone said everything isn’t everyone’s business. I said, it was a burden and shame I was holding onto and I no longer wanted to carry it. God told me to turn over my burdens and turn them into … Continue reading Tamirra H.
In reaching out to others, you are Christ’s hands. It takes courage and broad shoulders. I will continue to pray that the Holy Spirit guide those open hands into a thriving ministry…Don’t let yourself fail prey to discouragement. It may be your calling. God bless you!