Nobody likes to be criticized, right? Wrong! It really depends on how it’s presented. For example, if I say to you that ‘you are a blankity blank, and can’t do anything right’, then that criticism is likely to make you upset. But on the other hand, if I say something like, ‘I really like the way you do this, but have you considered doing this other thing a little different, maybe more like this?’ Then, hopefully, you’ll think, ‘hmmm, that’s not a bad idea. I hadn’t considered that. Let me think about it’ or something to that effect. So you see, presentation and intent really do make a difference.
Having said that, I try to be open to constructive criticism. I say try, because sometimes I might feel a bit of a sting depending on how personal I take it. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want and appreciate the constructive criticism, but it might take me a few moments or so to accept it. But also, constructive criticism doesn’t mean that you have to change anything. I would say a person is probably in the best place to know what to do with constructive criticism when they are able to think about it rationally, perhaps even having the ability to ask questions might help, too.
So, what does all this have to do with ‘peace’? Great question, Matt! LOL.
Well, I’m glad you asked because I’m dying to tell you.
Today, a trusted friend suggested that I change the title from ‘Journey from Abused to Joy’ to ‘Journey from Abused to Peace’. And I was given a brief explanation of why. The why? Part of the reason, I think, was that I ‘may not be at that place of joy yet.’ Mind you, that’s what I understood and I misunderstand often. LOL.
But, I’m not sure that I disagree with my friend. Though in an earlier blog I talked about how I’ve never experienced the kind of joy that I’ve been experiencing since I heard and answered the call of the Holy Spirit to ‘tell my story’. At the moment, writing this blog, I feel joyful. Regardless, I have to think about joy -vs- peace as far as the website is concerned. Do I make a change or not?
Here’s the answer I’ve come up with. Regardless of what state of being I am in or not in, joy or no joy, I’m not going to change the title, for now, and this is the reason why. My vision for this website is that it be bigger than I am. I really don’t want to be exposing all my most embarrassing secrets for the sake of embarrassing myself. I really do hope it helps others who have had similar life experiences, or helps family and friends understand what their loved ones go through. Like I’ve said before, recovery seems to be an ongoing process, a journey, more than it is ‘get over it’ and it’s never an issue again.
Having said that, one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is Joy. Peace is also one, but the implication of the suggestion is that I may still be lacking joy. So, if that is the case, and for me it is easier to experience peace than it is to experience joy, then I would suggest that perhaps one would experience peace on the way to joy. There’s a bit of a question in there, but that’s my thoughts on it at the moment.
So, for me, joy is the ultimate goal. Maybe I’m not there yet. All the more reason to have a blog; this is my journey to Joy. My fear is that if I don’t possess the fruits of the Holy Spirit, then maybe the Holy Spirit doesn’t dwell within me.
From abused, to peace, to joy. What do you think?
Pope Francis, I appeal you to meet the needs of survivors of clergy sexual abuse by making reparations commensurate with the damage, emotional or otherwise, caused to survivors. I have ideas on how to do this. If you can’t do this, then I respectfully ask, on behalf of the Church, you to stop receiving communion until such time that the Church does. Because until the Church does, it will not be in communion with the saints. Sincere contrition is meaningless without reparations in kind. Demonstrate to the world that the Catholic Church is catholic; that is, the Church Jesus established with Peter as the rock, the first pope; that the Church practices what it preaches.
Thanks for reading.
Wishing you much love and peace,
“Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” ― Mother Teresa
Consider sharing this blog with others. Victim/survivors of abuses, more often than not, carry this burden silently alone, not knowing how to deal with it or where to turn, but need hope. Loved ones and caregivers also need support. We never know who is or wants to reach out for help. This blog might be of help to caregivers and loved ones of abuse. Silence is deadly and if together we are able to help or save just one life, isn’t that worth it?
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It has been great to meet and talk with you Matt… I look forward to reading long or short versions of any topic, story, thoughts or emotions you touch on.. I hope they help other survivors in their healing journey.. I know talking about it helps me.. be well !
The other day I shared a story on FB about losing two teeth in an accident, and someone said everything isn’t everyone’s business. I said, it was a burden and shame I was holding onto and I no longer wanted to carry it. God told me to turn over my burdens and turn them into … Continue reading Tamirra H.
In reaching out to others, you are Christ’s hands. It takes courage and broad shoulders. I will continue to pray that the Holy Spirit guide those open hands into a thriving ministry…Don’t let yourself fail prey to discouragement. It may be your calling. God bless you!