For decades after I was abused by the priest I kept it a deep, dark secret; as is common for many victims. The guilt and shame was so intense that I told no-one. That was until 2003. A man I knew was about to be ordained a deacon in our church. But I had concrete … Continue reading Therapy? Ugh.
What started me down the path that eventually led to this blog was me preparing to give a hypothetical talk on forgiveness. As clear as day I thought I felt the Holy Spirit tugging at me, saying, "Matt, it's time to tell your story." But I haven't talked about forgiveness at all here on this … Continue reading Forgiveness
Throughout my life I’ve gotten to see and experience many incredible beautiful things. I’ve also had the pleasure of meeting some pretty incredible and beautiful people. But there’s one that stands out above all the rest, even if part of it has to do with the special relationship we have. That is my wife. She's … Continue reading the Most Amazing Woman
My wife and I had company over for karaoke. It was one of our friends turn to sing and I asked her what she would like to sing. She responded something stupid. I couldn't think of anything stupid for her to sing so I asked her again. She, again, responded something stupid. I told her … Continue reading More Humor
I realize this blog talks about things that are uncomfortable, to put it mildly. But it’s important for victim/survivors to know they are not alone. It’s not your fault!!! Regardless of your age. Accept and believe that. It’s well established that predators seek out those wounded by earlier abuses, they seek out those suffering and … Continue reading Support – Important Read
If you don’t read anything else in this post, please read the last paragraph "If you're noticing ...". It might even be a message you feel compelled to share with a friend in need. Though I joined SNAP (Survivors Network for those Abused by Priests) more than a year ago, I haven’t been active and … Continue reading Just Do It Already!
After several substantial setbacks I’m back! My absence illustrates that life is a journey and on this journey we’re going to experience obstacles along the way. Naturally some are going to be more challenging than others to overcome, but it’s got to be one foot in front of the other at some point; 'pull yourself … Continue reading I’m Back
The other night after we went to bed, our little Pomeranian WeeBeau was barking. Since I don’t speak dogish and Marilyn does I said to her, “WeeBeau is trying to tell you something.” Not wanting to get out of bed she responded, “I don’t hear him, he must be talking to you.” WeeBeau made the … Continue reading A little humor
Oh, how sweet the sound of music. And there is so much of it; so many different genres. Who's to say what is 'good' music and what is 'bad' music? Well, my therapist has an opinion. Music that is uplifting would be good for you and music that is not is not. The problem that … Continue reading The Sound of Music
To some extent my website “From Abused to Joy” is a diary of sorts, chronicling parts of my journey as I continue to recover from multiple abuses including sexual abuse, and strive to find more joy in my life. Some blog entries are quite raw as I allow myself to experience, and then risk sharing … Continue reading Moments of Joy
by Peter Feuerherd NEW YORK — They finally got a yes. After more than a decade of lobbying, advocates for changes in the New York state statute of limitations found out Jan. 28 that the state legislature approved what they had long wanted. Both the State Assembly and State Senate approved changes in the Child Victims Act, … Continue reading New York state set to extend statute of limitations on child sex abuse
Statute of Limitations for Clergy Sexual Misconduct Allegations Suspended for Three Years Nearly a year ago, the Presiding Bishop, the Most Rev. Michael Curry, and the President of the House of Deputies, the Rev. Gay Jennings issued a call for the church to examine its history and come to a fuller understanding of how we have handled … Continue reading The Episcopal Diocese of New York Suspends Statute of Limitations for Clergy Sexual Misconduct Allegations for Three Years
Okay. My previous post "The Winding Road" included excerpts from Celebrate Recovery material that were quickly thrown in there without any examination. Let's take another look at it. Begin quote: “Sexual/Physical/Emotional Abuse: The Problem. Our common background is a history of abuse and our goal is to enter into or maintain recovery. Recovery for me … Continue reading Backup!
It is about the journey, not the destination. When I started this blog just over a month ago I put some thought into what it's purpose was and thus chose the URL "fromabusedtojoy.com" to reflect that. On the home page I proclaimed "The Journey Begins" and invited readers to "Please join me on my healing … Continue reading The Winding Road
Caveat: It is my intent that this blog be for everyone but I recognize that not everyone believes the same thing. I happen to be a Christian and will reference my beliefs when appropriate. If you do not believe as I do that is fine. Please be gracious and simply disregard the parts that don't … Continue reading What Type of People Get Abused?
I have a problem: am I a victim or am I a survivor? If you've been following my blog at all you may have noticed that up to this point I've been using the word "victim" a lot and "survivor" seldom. There's a reason for this but I'm not sure how well I can explain … Continue reading Identity Crisis!
Once upon a time I made a CD with a handful of original songs I'd written. Not that I'm a great musician or singer, but having the ability to do so it was a goal of mine to put out a CD with my songs. I made that dream a reality in 2008. One of … Continue reading Humpty Dumpty
February 3, 1997 - Hartford Courant - by Kathleen Megan The single most hurtful comment that relatives frequently make to older victims of childhood sexual abuse is: "Gee, it happened such a long time ago, just get over it." [bold added for emphasis] "We all wish it could be that easy, but it's not," said … Continue reading “The Effects of Sexual Abuse Never Go Away”
'No more pain' victim wrote of Pa. priest sex abuse, as he and others took their own lives. In a detailed letter to the Diocese of Pittsburgh, a man outlined the extensive abuse he endured at the hands of a priest while serving as an altar boy in his hometown parish. He classified his experiences as … Continue reading ‘No More Pain’
What are some of the effects of childhood sexual assault? Great question, Matt. I'm so glad you asked because people need to know the answer. I hope you will read this in it's entirety because it seems to me this is where the beginning of understanding can take place. Here's an excerpt from "The Long-Term … Continue reading Get Over It!